Friday, August 28, 2009

Heavyweight Champion Mad Mime

I get a kick out of “professional” wrestling. I love the over the top storyline and bigger than life superhero and villain characters. Just picture, “weighing in at 328 and one half pounds the *very* heavy weight champion and master of the finishing moves known as “Chinese Food” and “no portion control“. He’s had that championship belt for some time.

And introducing Foooooooools Fitness!!! His master moves at the gym make him a contender. His signature moves “the granola bar” and “spicy v-8” give him a chance, but can he strip the Mad Mime of the title?!”

This last day I dug out my old weight lifting belt from just after college days. I have not seen 40 inches in a while… a very long while. But there it sits, looking strangely like some Wrestling Championship Belt daring me on to win it back.

I was sitting on the stone wall in front of my house the other day and a pick-up truck drove by and one of the two hillbilly kids screams at me… “Repulsive!” after getting over the shock that he could actually master a three syllable word naturally part of me was rather hurt by it. Normally I really don’t mold my life around what others think (the artist rebel and all) and moreover I’m not looking to impress hillbillies or guys for certain. Maybe a hillbilly girl like Ellie May from the Beverly Hillbillies but even her… she's got some odd pets.

While I would have liked “Repulsive” said differently, and perhaps not at all… but they are just plain right. I’m thinking that “Mad Mime” the VERY heavy weight champ is the villain. He deserves a big boo and some cat calls. In short they are right. That “repulsive” guy stole my life, my health, and frankly keeps sneaking up on me to hit me with an aluminum chair. (or is it Crab Ragoons and Beef teriyaki?) His manager named “No Hope” is always ready to get me with a cheap shot.

The contender Fools Fitness has a few tricks too. One of them is finally having some tag team partners and fellow fighters to watch his back and offer support. To all who read the blog and comment I want you to realize I appreciate you got my back. I think I can fight the Mad Mime and win, if it’s a fair fight. If not maybe Richard Simmons will run in the ring and deck him with a deal-a-meal and slim fast shake.

And remember that 9 out of the 10 voices at Foolsfitness say it’s all about wanting that belt enough! -Alan


  1. Lovin' that pic, dude!
    Not a wrestling fan though! but the ananlogy did make me smile. especially the granola bar bit.

    that whole repulsive bit repulsed me. it happens to me all the time. though it tends to be fatty. as if i dont know im fat. i hate people who feel the need to do that. sorry pet hate.

    i think you can totally kick his arse! DO IT.

  2. Hey Im a huge Fools Fitness fan! You can kick the Mad Mime's ass for sure--you know you want the belt bad enough! Break out the cheese-grater on his ass!
    I know its not the same, and takes some effort in the kitchen but maybe you can recreate some of those chinese-ee good dishes for less of a beat-down than you get when they Deliver? :-D

  3. Loved this post. I'm in your corner man, I'm here.
    You made me laugh out loud. I have Crystal Light in my nostrils now, thanks.

    My best always

  4. I LOVE that pic! lol Too cool!

  5. Hi!
    I wanted to thank you for your comment on my blog. It really spoke to me and I appreciated it so much. Thanks for taking the time to tell me how you really felt, your honesty was good to hear and made me rethink the way we are dealing with our situations.

    As for the ignorant people who called you repulsive, that just makes me sick and so angry. They don't even know you, yet ignorant people get their kicks out of making other people feel bad. I just don't understand how people can be so mean. I know words hurt, but remember the source and that you are not repulsive in any way.
    Congratulations on your weight loss so far. Keep on that path, even when the going gets tough. You are not alone. You have us bloggers, you will always have your back and of course your prayers. You'll get there, just take it day by day.
    Have a wonderful Sunday.

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  7. Hi.
    Thanks for dropping a comment on my blog. I used to be a huge fan of wrestling. Especially during those days of Stonecold Steve Austin. 3:16. Those days were great! Looks like is quite a good motivation putting up that photo.. I honestly like it.
    Continue what you have been doing and you'll be find. Baby steps...And Good Luck!

  8. Thanks for the comment! Dude, you don't KNOW how long it's taken to grow my hair. If it weighed 20 lbs I'd still keep it! (just subtract on the scale! haha!)


Remember that commenting is just the foolsfitness way!