Attacked by Elves

Isn’t he adorable! My little elf was an early Christmas gift given to me by someone even more precious… thank you Elaine! There is a local doll company here called “Annalee dolls“. I've got a huge soft spot for cute teddy bears or little stuffed animals! I haven‘t even got my own Christmas shopping barely started and no decorations up… although I‘ve at least helped others do theirs, and it was nice spending time with them. Plus they got me Chinese food!!!
　
Sorry I haven’t posted as the norm. I’m being overwhelmed by life. I had to fill in for a service last minute for a pastor who is sick, I now have two classes I’m teaching, A couple of art projects going, inspecting (and repairing) my car, writing a newsletter article, and I’m trying to design a game that is similar to a miniature wargame and uses cards that isn’t about violence but in making Christian disciples that would draw the interest the youth of the church enough to play it while making it also useful for teaching about the Christian faith. (yeah that’s a big challenge but I‘ve got to find a way to reach out to them.) It short I’ve been flat out… burning the candle at both ends and it’s taken it’s toll. But after the first of the year it should mellow out a bit.
　
Plus loosing family and friends around this time of year… including two friends this year… it’s just a lot. I’ve had to cancel Christmas trip and skip appointments due to double booking the time in error. I sort of need to break myself into three when all I want to do is hide in my house. I don’t think I was really anywhere near 100 percent before all this to start with. There is even so much ice in my driveway that cars in park with the emergency brake on can slide down the hill. To top it off I cracked a piece of stained glass in an orniment I was making that took me hours… just as I was doing the last bit of solder. (Sorry, enough whining… here’s the facts about fitness)
　
As far as diet and exercise go, well I’m falling apart. I’m not putting any energy into watching what I eat… then stress eating and being loose on the go. Skipping workouts… gaining weight. I’ve got to refocus and get some priorities in line… if I can’t keep me together I can’t serve others well for long.
　
I guess this time is more emergency all hands on deck and just hang on. A new pastor comes in January, and I finish teaching two classes. Perhaps after all the storm I can really dwell on how I over commit and stress eat as well as not take time to focus and make priorities to my own health and well being. I feel like over the last two months I’ve gotten fitness demoralized. I even missed volleyball last night.
　
Don’t forget any reply before Dec 25th gets a chance at a dvd to be given away after Christmas. (see the post below this one for detials)
　
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. Maybe I can get some more interesting reading/ Artwork up before the big day… but no promises I may not be able to do at the moment.
　
At Foolsfitness we love the Lord Jesus Christ… however sometimes there feels like a bit of an evil buzz around the holiday time of Christmas almost if it‘s some kind of cover up conspiracy to try to hide the message of God‘s love for us. -Alan

Toon Tuesday Christmas Giveaway (YOU MIGHT WIN DVD PRIZE!)

Foolsfitness has a couple of DVD’s to give away to wish people a Merry Christmas! Enter at any and ALL blog posting(s) from this one to Christmas(but once per blog post) by just commenting with a reply gets you an automatic chance… right up to midnight Christmas eve. That’s right, check back often and leave a comment at EACH bog posting for yet another chance to win! I’ll pick two winners (one for art and one for general posting reply) just after Christmas. Here is details… 2 ways to enter:
　
FIRST, just leave a reply in the comment section as I mentioned. Tell me about something you love about Christmas, normally comment about the blog entry, Or just even just say hi. Only once per blog post I‘ll count, however you may post *EACH* blog post for a greater chance to win. I will consider any reply (one per post) between now and in any of my blog postings up to midnight of Christmas eve. The winner (chosen at random) will get to pick among one of the 2 DVDs not chosen by the Art winner. The Art winner gets first choice… hey, I’m an artist, I’m partial.
　
SECOND… because I’m an artist naturally I love art and want to encourage people to make some! Create some kind of art (drawing, painting, photography, sculpting, sewing, even a Christmas story…) as long as it is *newly made* and centers around the theme of “Christmas” in some way. Post it on your blog or somewhere and leave a comment in my replies with a link for me to see it. (my only real request here beyond it being 1) new and 2) loosely around Christmas theme and 3) Your art *not someone else’s* is that the Art be 4)*“family friendly”* in case younger viewers are also checking out your artwork) I’ll just pick amongst ones I like at the end for a winner of a DVD. Moreover that Winner gets pick among the DVD’s first. Even Moreover the moreover than that, you get to shamelessly promote your blog and or artwork! WOW! (ok… well at least it seems wow when I write this in the wee hours of the morning)
　
WHAT’S THE PRIZE??? Art winner gets first choice among three new DVD’s… Reply posting winner gets to choose among the other two left.
　
1) Billy Blanks TAE BO the strength within… believers workout
2) Latin Rhythm Workout by Kathy Smith… Hot Latin Sounds. Easy steps!
3) the RANDOM Black Box… You want to live on the edge, I’ll send you a surprise movie… just promise you’ll only watch it with low fat popcorn and diet soda!!!
　
DISCLAIMERS: I’m trying to make this simple and fun. I’ll ship worldwide as long as I can reasonably afford to. Um, if the DVD’s get abducted by aliens in shipment, damaged by fires started by zombie infestations, destroyed in some massive tsunami or I do before mailing them… My only excuse is I’m trying. Not everyone can win these, it’s just a game, you don’t need a DVD to reinforce the fact that you are a winner in much more important things already. Batteries not included. Some settling may occur. Professional driver on close track. Do not attempt at home. If winners don’t reply to notifications I’ll pick someone else… And any other disclaimers I forgot please insert here…X… Be reasonable!!! I’m trying to give away things here. I’m a vagabond artist not a lawyer Jim!
　
Ok, Happy Advent! Merry Christmas. Go easy on the Fruitcake.
　
At Foolsfitness we hate fruitcake and have banned it from our gyms. In fact we have fruitcake sensor checkpoints with fruitcake sniffing dogs at all entrances. -Alan

Riots in Rockwell’s Dept 56 Christmas Village

You have God like powers when you set up those little ceramic houses for your Christmas village on your table or under the tree. One switch and you cut off power to a whole town! Should you choose, a little ceramic villager would be banished from the town for ever. Drunk with power yet?
　
I had the honor to set up a little ceramic dept 56 style village on a table complete with sheets of fake snow and down to even shrubs. The picture above is a shot taken by Ann (Thanks again for letting me play with your village!) after I set it up for her.
　
As the time passed while I was assembling the village I got a little over the top thinking about the community I was assembling. I had to ask her about what the main export of the village was, how they supported themselves. Then I thought about zoning… would people want a commercial enterprise like a bakery or antique shop next to a residential zone?! The town apparently has funding problems because they do not maintain the roads well… they are covered in snow.
　
Then my mind drifted toward thinking about the townspeople. This gentleman who delivers Christmas trees with his cart… what is his business during outside the holiday months. He obviously runs bootleg moonshine. In front of the Inn his wife is meeting another man for a rendezvous. That other man is a drinker, (the figure seems to fall down a lot) but he does pay attention to her more and makes her feel special. Little Jesse is a difficult youth, who pelts everyone with snowballs… and doesn’t play nice with his toys. A little girl is sitting next to the ice rink. Her mother is going to sue the town because her daughter fell down on a poorly maintained ice arena. The man who runs the antique shop has faulty wiring due to poor patch jobs, neglect, and jerry rigged electrical outlets… and he never shovels his walks or maintains his grounds.

During Thanksgiving vegetarian protesters marched around the tiny little ceramic village park trying to convince people to leave turkeys alone… I haven’t seen the little Christmas village in a few days, but I’m assuming there may shortly be looting and riots due to unemployment rates skyrocketing and the village bakery being a monopoly food supplier deciding to profiteer by charging ten dollars a loaf of bread. (Do the people who make ceramic villages make ceramic national guard troop figures and equipment? We may need to send them in an declare martial law at some point… I‘m thinking I should get her at least a little ceramic tank that‘s equipped with ceramic tear gas launchers ) Yeah, I got a bit of an imagination. (Next time I visit I may bring a plastic Godzilla figure with me to attack the village!!!)
　
We get to at least have a large part in building the ceramic villages of our own lives though. While we may not foresee everything we get to pick to a large part of what goes on that table or not. Moreover how it’s organized on that table too. I may need to do a bit of maintenance, as some of my figures have fallen over… regaining smoking or loss of watching what I eat. Perhaps that dusty “gym” ceramic house needs to get cleaned up and back on the table. I may need to plow my roads. Moreover, rezone the bakery… or shut it down due to levied back taxes? My caloric tax budget definitely… well lets just say there is a lot of pork in my spending? My own little village is almost at the point where I need to declare martial law.
　
AWARD! Foolsfitness has been awarded the “Superior Scribbler Award” Thanks to Katie J http://katiejweightlossjourney.blogspot.com It has some rules but I have a huge inability to follow directions. Moreover the thing that is curious to me is if they are awards, it doesn’t seem like you should have to do so much… it’s like having to buy stuff to get a “free gift”. I do thank her. I do also have my own “Foolsfitness UNcommon Sense Award” (with no strings attached) in the works to give out hopefully soon…
　
Rettakat suggested (challenged?) a “Toon Tuesday” post… I thought I’d post this for fun. My drawing started on paper and was colored digitally. It’s loosely inspired by a comic called “Mouse Guard” I was reading lately.

I guess I was thinking how I’ve been feeling that I am facing some pretty large foes… and if you’re a mouse against a monster )or turkey?) you’re going to need to bring a matchstick cannon! (Click on the image and again and it might get bigger. Or not… haven’t figured out image sizing yet.) Oh, consider visiting her at http://lorettasjourney.blogspot.com and congratulating her on her recent 100 pounds off mark!!! WOW!
　
Making Cute Ceramic Christmas villages frightening is just the Foolsfitness way!- Alan

Please Stand by…

I haven’t posted in a bit due to going away for the holiday (Thanksgiving) and now I’m trying to catch up on just basic chores and work… also trying to just catch my wind here. So the normal style postings should be back in the works soon.
　
Yes, I ate way too much… now 312.5 for like a 9 pound gain over the last two weekends… I’ve hovered in these 12 pounds (up and down) since about the end of September. I must have lost and gained these last few pounds about 7 times!!! I even started smoking again… Tomorrow starts December… I hate to say beginning tomorrow, so I will say beginning now I’m going to try to regain some focus.
　
I’ve been trying to capture that essence that makes this not just a numbers game but a total life redesign. Lately my thoughts have been dwelling on the idea that it isn’t an “all or nothing” thing… but just small refinements that make me just a little more (or less depending on your point of view) I’m not sure what the word I wan is… maybe more refined, defined, closer to my essence. While the goal is to shed all the excess baggage (weight and all the other life un-essentials) it’s so easy to fall back into old ways or get distracted and off path.
　
I wonder if it’s for everyone who drops a “lot” of weight that it isn’t about focus on the pounds at all really, as it seems to be a set up for failure to just go through the motions… but there is a core need to dig into the depths and look into the abyss. AT least for me it seems like one of the most difficult things I have ever attempted. I know I am exhausted. I could make excuses about how it’s a bad time of year with loosing my family, or the added pressures of my work, or loss of friends passing away recently… but I guess the core of it is today the stuffing won and also the stuffing is being beaten out of me, and I‘m trying to beat the stuffing out of myself (and frankly I‘m not sure if that is the good or bad stuffing) …… Maybe tomorrow will be different.

So "please stand by" as Foolsfitness is having some technical difficulties...
　
Insert cute and witty foolsfitness signoff here… Alan

Being an Evil Mastermind is Hard

I think we can learn from evil masterminds as they want to take over the world, we want to take over the world of our own personal bodies. Did you ever notice the evil mastermind in how they are genius, yet at the same time have no wisdom? They usually have this incredibly complex and creative plan for world domination which if you plan to take over the world you, I assume, should have.
　
Yet I think their flaw is in continued focus. Once the great plan is enacted, they go back to their favorite hobbies. What are evil mastermind’s favorite hobbies you ask? I think they have two.
　
The first is laughing manically. I’m wondering if the being evil thing is getting a bad wrap. Most of the bad guys, now I’m not taking of the run of the mill thugs but the costume wearing thug employers who are card carrying members of the “Union of Anti-Superheroes” here, are very jovial guys. They have taken private lessons from Santa Claus when they were children on how to laugh from the belly and not just giggle like the common man. They may have some kind of certificate of completion in laughology, I’m not certain. I know I laugh well... but I'm a natural.
　
Their second favorite hobby has to be a two-fold hobby. They need to come up with some very cool super weapon including a very cool name for it… Personally I’ve been working on a name for my own… how does “The Buelizer Ray” sound? Sorry, I digress… Then they need to capture a superhero, and being a good nemesis they should threaten him, tell him the complete plan and how it will decimate the universe in general. … (capturing the heroes girlfriend is optional, in spite of that common belief… see the manual under “Proper Procedures of World Domination Plans” ) Then they go back to laughing and have some tea.
　
As I mentioned their flaw is in lack of continued focus… they go have tea, some laughing and forget to monitor the plan. There is a need to watch the superheroes more so they don’t get loose and mess everything up that was so hard to put in motion! You may know where I’m running with this.
　
Last Friday I check in a weight of 303.5 for another loss! About 3 pounds off since last time. Over the weekend, you see, being evil I needed to reach my maniacal laughing quota… and naturally forgot to keep an eye on the plan, by grazing mindlessly on brownies and late night goodies. I might tell you that Monday’s weight was up *severely* but I won’t post it because I am evil after all…My normal Monday weigh in number I choose to ignore because being evil I’m not limited by the restraints of reality… at least for a while. Never the less, if I keep laughing manically for much longer… lets just say I’m losing henchmen even now while I continue to not pay attention. They are currently disarming the Buelizer Ray even now while I’m having this here donut and cinnamon roll with my tea.
　
Being a super villain is hard. I need to remember to pay attention most all the time. Maybe we all do? Plus even in the bad economy do you have any idea how much the rent is on a good evil head quarters? When will I ever learn that I get too confident, drop the ball, and then try to eat all those plates of food at the “All You Can Eat Evil Buffet“? But it’s not my fault! I got distracted by my new cape… I love how it billows around me as I walk menacingly about and it’s so soft at 80 percent cotton/20 percent silk too!
　
At Foolsfitness our world domination schemes have been foiled again, but just wait until next time!!! Oh, wait Thursday is Thanksgiving and with all that yummy stuffing… well just wait until the time after next time! Muhuhahahaha! -Alan

Tea for 2

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Why is $19.95 so much cheaper than 20 dollars? it just somehow seems so much less even though its 5 cents! I’m looking toward the *under* 300 pound goal (I’m getting so close! Of course every time I say that I seem to blow it) I think it might be a hoot to have “Tea for 2“ treat... There is some huge psychological hurtle between 300 something and 299 even if its just a couple of pounds. I’m thinking the treat is a real *new* fancy tea pot and some tea balls and loose tea.
　
I use to have a “cozy” which is as pathetic as it sounds… a blankie for your tea pot to keep it warm to let the tea steep. I’ve been on a massive tea kick. I got a used tea pot. I also have several sampler packs of black teas. I have had a complete ritual to making tea. You boil water in the kettle first starting with sharp cold water. After the water is boiling (active…not boiled past tense) and then rinse out the tea pot to heat the tea pot up… then pour in boiling water into the tea pot, gentle over the bags (Yeah I’m crazy when I freak out to the point about not bruising the tea leaves). … and then put the cozy over the tea pot to let it steep. Tea is not made in 10 seconds… it must steep!!! Yeah, I need a hobby or something and less caffeine huh…
　
Lots of stuff going on:
*Officially I have now eaten several vegetables including that spaghetti squash I mentioned about in my last blog… or the thing I loving refer to as “the alien pod“. Also get this… a visit to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) and the total order was a grilled chicken breast. I use to consume twice as many calories in soda alone in past visits!
　
*I did the whole volleyball thing once more complete with the Spiderman impersonations and the bloody knee again. This time is my team rocked. I had a serving run of 10 points before the other team scored, I also scored a winning serve to finish one of the games off. I even got compliments on my serve!
　
* “The Fools Fitness Fellowship” group that I started at my church is growing. Some of the stuff I’ve been able to pull together about nutrition from various sources I’ve found on the net has been cool. I also have been playing games like guess the calories and this one you have got to try… fill a pitcher with water and pour out what you believe is one cup (8 ounces) of water into a bowl. Now take that bowl and pour it into a measuring cup. I’d suggest putting something under the measuring cup because my group poured sometimes 2 cups or even a bit more in the attempt!!! I love the group… I’m learning as I teach, and it’s keeping me on track better too. This week I’ve got a caloric poker bluff game planned where people will have caloric menus and try to up the stakes up to certain caloric and fat levels.
　
* I’ve gone a few days without Chinese food!!! I don’t want to be afraid of it by hiding from it, but I also want to illustrate to myself that I have the choice within me to say no to it for a while. I planned my pledge for a week ending this Friday and I am a man of my word… then I will choose to either enjoy some then or wait longer.
　
*That two hundred something mark is going to be so incredible for a bizarre reason that maybe lighter folks don‘t even consider. My bathroom scale maxes out at 300. I can’t weigh myself at home! I get “EEEE” yup I seem to frighten my scale! Like I don’t know it’s an “error” to weigh over 300 pounds already!
　
*Another odd thing that lighter folk may not think about. This is crazy I know but I got really freaked last night as I felt a bone in the joint of my wrists. I was kind of concerned at first… I mean I don’t remember seeing that there!!! I have honestly not seen my wrist bones in so long… wow. I have wrists! There are lots of little things that you can really appreciate as you drop weight from being very large. Tying your shoes. Zipping up a flight of stairs. Getting in and out of your car easier. Just *finding* clothes that fit you, never mind in the style you want… just even ones that *fit*!
　
*I’m working on whole life balance. From the food end in eating more mindfully in portions and in nutrition. Financial working on cutting out the debt. Fitness finding sane enjoyable activities loosely referred to exercise that I’ll do and repeat. Teaching and preaching occasionally… Now something enjoyable… maybe drawing just for fun without a client in mind. Or amusing myself with a subject without finding the need to study it. Working out sane schedules. I haven’t really taken a real day off in a while. I have honestly in my whole life never gone on a vacation over like a weekend stay. Maybe that will be a treat goal near the goal of 12 percent body fat way on down the line… to take a week and really go someplace just for fun sake, not for business, learning, the church, somebody, or any reason other than I want to go and enjoy it. I appreciate my passion and zeal, but I also need to learn moderation… in multiple things, to find some sane happy middle point.
　
At Foolsfitness we want our workout music in our gyms from people like the B-52’s and Prince because they ooze style! Oh, and that Willy Wonka Oompha Loompa song!- Alan

Finding an Alien Pod

Log entry 21...The approximately 5 pound specimen currently resides in my ice box as I am unaware what action to take next. Oh that I had the wherewithal to show this abomination to the authorities, yet my fear unhinges me that I would be placed in protective custody in a ward for those whom have touched minds. As to the exact manner of this creature I am perplexed… even perhaps to some hallucination. Had I not have my wits about me I would take to fancy, considering the possibility that I may have a dragon egg in my presence.
　
Perhaps it would be best to begin with details of my expedition of this tangled tale into the uncharted land named by the natives as Aisle One. Myself and my companion had geared up for the journey well, my cigarette case was full with PEZ. Each pouch in the vest of my well made traveling garb sported two candy bars. I held a frozen pizza as a shield cautiously before me… my colleague bore two gallons of sweetened ice tea and was the best sort of company by merely offering escort into this vast unknown Yet my escorts stomach quickly soured, hindered by little scruples of conscience and alas... I was left to fend for mine own self.
　
Upon rounding a corner mine eye’s were blinded by a plethora of colors far surpassing a fancy dress ball, it‘s ostentation overwhelmed my being and was only dwarfed by the assault on my olfactory senses. Keeping ceremony to a minimum, treading lightly and fast of foot I pressed on to procure a sample of one of these alien pods. Hark! Looking down I noticed already some man of science had labeled this thing “Spaghetti Squash 0394” with a small round tag affixed underneath.
　
It is not courteous nor well to prejudice others by my writings that indicate the utmost correlation of the inseparable duo of vegetables and the utter lack of well being of the spirit. If I am to be a fine figure of a gentleman, well bred, one of education and good taste, even the epitome of propriety and good manners… I would have to experience world travel including Aisle One, including its fruits and vegetables.
　
I have since expanded my horizons with this world cuisine…. *AHEM… YUP, I ATE A VEGETABLE!* I admit to paying a ode to Verne and H. G. Wells. I adore classic literature. I don’t however adore vegetables… to the point I think I can coun’t my vegetable choices for the last month on a single hand, but who knows, in time that may change.
　
I started a few days back with a can of spinach. It was a riot as it had apparently sat in my pantry for a while. It was expired about 2 years back in 2007. I ate it anyway, because I am the fool in fools fitness. I’ve got a new tea pot and have been “drinking heavily” with it. I got fixated on an ice cream kick for a bit but today I weighed at 306.5 for a -7.5 pound drop! It’s been a bit chaotic for the last month or so but this is the lowest recorded point in the blog! I’m not sure if the wild shifts are water or clothes, I’m sure there has been some stress eating in the past too but -36.5 pounds off since the start… I like that. I like that a lot. I just want to say it a couple more times and relish in it -36 pounds gone! -36 pounds weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
　
Did Foolsfitness mention 36.5 pounds is gone? That number again is thirty six and one half pounds!-Alan