I’m sitting in front of a tv the other night and I see the “latest” in magic machine gadgets that you will get a perfect body on in just a few minutes a day (and some “easy” payments?) The Super Duper Secret Special Key is sort of a “Sit and Spin” for adults that will get either a model’s tiny tummy or Amazon Joe’s massive six pack abs.
I love those late night infomercials. Everyone is just so happy because this will now give them “The Super Duper Secret Special Key” and make their shallow existence a whole and vibrant life of passion, excitement, adventure, and fulfillment of joy and peace will finally be reality! I seem to always look at those universal wonder fitness machines and think it’s a cross between some modern art sculpture and a medieval torture device.
OK the fools fitness needs to get on the gadget bandwagon. First consult a doctor before entering in on any fitness plan, exercise within your limitations, and wear a DOT approved helmet, knee and elbow pads, shin guards… As needed supportive hosiery, arch supported footwear, snorkeling and or scuba equipment. Eye protection is a must!
Purchase 1 pad of yellow legal sized paper. Take a sheet, crumple it up and throw it as far away from you as you can… now go pick it up and put it in the trash, repeat twenty times. Feel the burn of that aerobic activity that is working *ALL* the major muscle groups in your whole body! Wow! Now take a paper and write a note to a pal (pencil or pen sold separately) inviting them to go out with you for a walk, to the park, gym, pool, or a bicycle ride. Now clutch the pad firmly but comfortably between your hands and curl it up to your chest and over your head for three sets of 8-12 reps… don’t forget to breathe! (Why do they say that in aerobics? You won’t forget to breathe for long.) Ok, shake out those muscles… now take that pad of paper and write down your weight and everything you eat today and for a week… Add up the calories and fats, proteins, carbohydrates and compare it to the FDA food pyramid . Now after a week weigh yourself again and write that down. You can also use this amazing fitness tool to write out healthy food shopping lists, things to do in workouts, keep track of body measurements, and more!!! Order your pad of legal sized yellow paper now.
Lifting a piece of paper is a workout in fools fitness!- Alan