Monday, October 5, 2009

The weighting room

I’ve been peeking in the weight area of the gym. Since my gym membership began I’ve just been obsessed with swimming and that is all I use the gym for. I have lifted weights before. I mean sort of as a sport. Not a professional body builder but I took pride once in my body. Now being still rather big, and not the big that is like arms the size of your head, I’ve been just daring a peek when I think no one is looking.
You see there is stuff I barely remember and new stuff too. Apparently it’s now OK for grown ups to play with huge bouncy balls. I can’t take the classes because every time I say “Zumba” it pushes me into a giggle fit. They now have weights that are spheres called kettle bells. Apparently they are rather old and used in Russia. Personally if your going to get a different weight to lift I want something fun like weights in the shape of the Flintstones (like those Dino vitamins) or the weights should be in shapes like army tanks because you are building up your “guns” right? I think if they want real muscle confusion and a challenge they should bench press goats. If they used goats they would have not only a work out tool but they wouldn’t need a water bottle supplement drink… cause it’s goat’s milk on demand!!!
I can just picture hanging myself in the new cable machines.
Luckily due to my work schedule I can hit the gym at a time when it’s mostly “older” and less intimidating folks. Imaging me having some 80 year old guy with no neck asking me to “spot him”… I make one off comment like what colors would he prefer and I get “what?” and/or “eeeh?” for ten minutes…, or I try to help him lift some unbelievable weight bar.. You know, the ones with like two of those disk things on them. Sure they say ten pounds but we all know about that conspiracy.
Still if I want to look like Arnold I’m going to need to pump some iron sometime. Maybe soon. I’m also seeing if I can take the next step of not only watching my calories but trying to eat more “balanced” foods. I read about it someplace. I have no idea how balancing your foods helps or where and on what you need to balance them on, but I can juggle apples and oranges.
Well, another -1.5 pounds off. I got a notary signed weight register at 310.5 today (Oct. 05, 2009). I’m going to do a weight loss fundraiser for charity until New Years to help my church. (currently I’m worth $4.00 a pound in pledges… Gee I hope more people donate, I‘d like to know I‘m worth more than lobster!) It’s a good cause, my church like many Americans are struggling in the tough economy. I think my church is struggling spiritually as well. Pray for “The Little Church on the Hill” (it’s nickname)
Richard Simmons said the average American gains 12-15 pounds Oct-Dec. I guess that makes sense with all the food holidays, and half the nation in snow and limiting their outdoor activities. Gee if I end up gaining weight over the winter! No. That’s negative thinking. I’m going to gain more freedom and health by shedding more chains and shackles of the dead weight.
Speaking of dead weight. I’m not sure if it’s funny or sad. I haven’t quite got the hang of getting the bicycle to go completely forward in a straight line. That old weight shifts and sways. But watch it after that momentum gets up to speed. I could be like a monster truck, crushing everything in my path.
At Foolsfitness we can curl 2-liter bottles of soda for hours!- Alan


  1. I envy you the gym with the pool. I have no gym around me at all. I walk everyday and that is my fitness routine in a nutshell.
    And thanks for your kind words on my blog! It just always hits me weird that people like reading what I write. I feel like my life is just so boring you know?

  2. Hey..thanks for making it "official". It's nice to know who's reading!! I will be reading your blog this week to catch up - looking forward to it!! Stay strong, God bless! :)

  3. You know if you put a widget thingey on the side people here could donate through Paypal or something ... I'd make a pledge.

    Your posts always make me smile and/or laugh. You have such a great sense of humour.

    Congrats on the loss, Alan!

    I love your sign-offs.

  4. zumba makes me giggle too :D
    wish my gym had a pool!

    oh man im trying not to think about winter weight. i have no excuses to not exercise indoors now. but bah the lovely holiday food.

    goodluck with charity weight loss. it sounds like a winner!

  5. Hi Alan. Great idea to do a sponsered slim. Should really keep the motivation up during the difficult holiday period. Hope you raise LOADS!

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  6. I'm still aiming for a set of guns. Weights get the toning, etc .. the other stuff can't touch. lol Would love to see people lifting goats or something useful - grocery bags, kitty litter.

    Holidays are easier for me since we moved. It's just Husband & I so I get to cook my way. Although, I've been more social this year so actually will have more social outings this year. Weird. But I hate that getting pudgier feeling, so will do what it takes to avoid that.


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