I’m sitting at the Chinese Food Buffet restaurant this morning waiting for it to open (Yeah, I have issues) and I thought I should create a small guide for you non-professionals…
1) Bring your own dishes. You can get far larger plates and bowls from home. This saves on trips up to the buffet line so you can save all your strength for eating.
2) Check to see if they have a membership. It’s like gym fees, just pay by the month… again saving crucial time so you can focus more on the gooey and fried goodness. Personally, they have just given me a key so I can go in for midnight snacks as well. This option is usually not on the *basic* Chinese food buffet membership.
3) Keep eating. At one point they will bring you a check, but don’t stop. They will eventually try to make you a deal that if you leave they will call it even so you *don’t have to pay at all* as they get frightened over your crab consumption costs. Personally I am a professional, I keep eating beyond that and can get to the final stage of being there for half a day and usually at that point they will actually PAY YOU a small amount to leave. At this level you earn high respect as an “Alpha” eater, they will no longer look you in the directly in the eye for long. It’s a little known martial art. The ancient eating masters actually have custom black belts that can be loosened during or after large meals.
4) Go early to get the best seating. Moreover you can usually ask them *as they set up* to just bring you the whole tray of crab ragoons and chicken teriyaki they bring out directly to your table… it’s so much easier.
Yup, you guessed it. I did a Chinese Food Buffet today. I actually fought the urge for a few days and technically the “enjoy food day” I set up once a month I could use for this. As I said I don’t like the term “cheat day” or “bad” food. That still gives food some power over you. However I am struggling with the choice. I feel it wasn’t made under complete Zen. Chinese Food still is my kryptonite. I want to reach the day where I can go in and just eat a decent proportioned plate and draw the line. Maybe some of you have justified a second plate with, “I should get my money’s worth” or something like “well I don’t eat this kind of stuff at home” or “that looks interesting, I just try that. (and that and that and that)”
I have an excuse. (Isn’t it great to have excuses and that way you need to take absolutely no responsibility for anything you eat!) I got frightened. I went into to the supermarket yesterday and started an exploratory mission into the fresh fruit and vegetable aisle. I clutched my frozen pizza close to my side moving slowly forward seeing all strange and usual things in bright colors and unusual shapes. A strange aroma was in the air. I shuttered wondering what manner of creation is this as I picked up a small brightly green colored spherical object about the size of a softball in my hand. Fearing I would loose my way I retraced my steps quickly back to the chip and soda aisle… that is another adventure story for another blog entry, in time after a more advanced exploration mission. I need to go in there properly equipped with soda and cookies to sustain me.
At Foolsfitness we count pickles as our main vegetable.- Alan