Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Am I A Super Villain? A Part Time Superhero? Or what?

Why do Super Villains laugh so well? Have you ever noticed that Evil Masterminds tend to be enthusiastic and actually happy a large part of the time? They have a great attention for detail. They usually have a very cool evil lair. They are even pretty good at business (hey being evil is expensive) and delegators of authority… They usually have hoards of minions and a trusted lieutenant to “take care of things”. Not only will they do away with the superhero, but it must be in some wildly complex and amusing fashion.
You may see where this is leading. While most are very intelligent, their ultimate undoing is a mix of arrogance, ego, and greed. They figure once “the plan” is in motion all they need to do is sit back and laugh the evil (Yet very cool) laugh.
I’ve tried repeatedly to apply for membership into of Sean and Jack’s Superhero group called, “The League of Extraordinary Fat Men”, with no reply. Now I can see several reasons for this.
A) their Superhero Sidekick interns repeatedly have lost my paperwork.
B) With my weight loss not reaching huge numbers I need to develop my superpowers further.
C) They see my dark tendencies and wonder deep down if I will indeed become a super villian.
D) The group is fictitious, but the more that people say that the more I know “they” are covering the group up.
So blame it on my Super Villain flaws, I got cocky and then ignored the details… full of myself and laughing manically while blaming my yes men or thugs for any deviation from the ideal. Look at me for hitting a weight loss marker of 25 pounds and the six month mark. Then the launch of a Foolsfitness local group complete with a charity fundraiser. Enter the villain’s ego, arrogance, and any other stuff.
Ok here it is. The reason for missing a post. One slip, and then another, and then throw a few on top of it. I could blame it on the local sandwich fair. While I didn’t eat a whole cow or sheep… I did eat an ├ęclair the size of a loaf of Italian bread. Then there was a donut the size of my head. Naturally the next logical step in the following days was a half dozen candy bars and somewhere in there must have been lots of Chinese food? ****SIX POUNDS GAIN!!!!!**** Holy I’ve eaten a Cow Batman! 315.5 Biff Pow BAMM ZAPP
I don’t think I’ll ever be the goody two shoes Superman. I might be able to do the brooding superhero like Batman… but hopefully with the style of the Green Hornet. But now the lesson for today, I shall not get over confident and forget it’s each days walk, each meals choice… it doesn’t end. You can’t be a part-time superhero.
At Foolsfitness we wrote the book on Superheroes… Well one Superhero actually. And it’s still being written. Whether it’s a fiction or autobiography has yet to be determined. Maybe a bit of Mark Twain, a bit of both?- Alan


  1. Hi Alan. A fall off the wagon. The only thing you can do is to get back on again ASAP. I feel for you ... but you can do it. Just make consistency your middle name ...

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  2. I never know what to expect from a post by Foolsfitness! Whimsy...wit...imagination...nuttiness...serious..flippant...fantasy....and some days in the Twilight Zone I think! LOL!

    Today I thought it was going to be fun and games with superheroes and villains...then you got me:

    "But now the lesson for today, I shall not get over confident and forget it’s each days walk, each meals choice… it doesn’t end. You can’t be a part-time superhero."

    It sounds like you have gotten back up, dusted off the cape, learned, and are ready to fly again.

    Bless you as you learn, just like the rest of us are doing,

  3. Foolsfitness

    I hear what you're saying... it's a struggle sometimes with each meal. One bad choice can turn into days and days of bad choices. The thing is, not to give up. Superheroes are victorious, remember that... We didn't gain this weight overnight and we're not going to lose it overnight either. We're a work in progress. We're going to have good days and bad days, and the lesson here is what WE DO AFTER THE BAD DAYS. You know villains always lose in the end, right?

    You're not alone. Remember, with each meal is a new opportunity to make a better choice.

    Hang in there

  4. I love this analogy.
    So true. We cannot be part time super heroes.

    sorry to hear about the sucky gain but you know where it came from so get back on track and kick your own super hero ass!

  5. the less-than-perfect characters are always the the most interesting...did you see Watchmen? I totally LOVED Rorschach though clearly he' less than ideal as a superhero. At any rate---we all fuck up. Hell, Ive been on a part-time superheroin fuckup for about 6 weeks now myself. Key is to catch it early which you have. Put down the donuts the size of your head (dont put anything past dunkin or krispy kreme!) and get on with it.
    Your superhero-ness can inspire mine!!! HUGS!

  6. I just found your blog through Rettakat/Loretta's, and I love it! You are hilarious.

  7. Hello, I do not agree with the previous commentator - not so simple


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