Where am I? Wha’ happened? Am I a fitness God among men now? I don’t think so.
Where did all these empty fast food take out bags in my car come from? Why is the scale malfunctioning?! Gaining 5 or 6 pounds can not be right… can it?
Today I visited my old friends Wendy and the Burger King. I don’t think they are really my friends, they sort of use me and lie to me while they seem to always be there for me at the time… well sort of. I think I need new friends.
My new friend, Mr. Fitness seems pretty gruff. He seems to demand I call him “Mister“. He’s actually seems to ask me, “Who’s your daddy?!” I got together with him a couple of times… we met at the gym and the park a couple of times to kick a soccer ball around. He seems harsh. Actually, he beat the living tar out of me. I thought we could be friends.
You know, this Mr. Fitness guy won’t go with me to see my other friends like Ronald either. He warns me that they are not my friends at all. I think he’s allergic to grease in food too. He doesn't seem very fun sometimes. I tried to introduce him to Whopper and he hates him… no, even loathes him!
One thing I can say for Mr. Fitness, he’s very honest. He doesn't seem to lie, like the ones who I thought who were my friends. I appreciate someone who is real like him, not ones shallow like the others. I’m hoping maybe Mr. Fitness and I got off on the wrong foot, we seem to be doing ok… I can’t help but wonder if my other friends are jealous of him. Did they kick me in the knees and my back, and then lie again like they do and blaming him for it? Who can I really trust? It feels like everyone's so mean to me. Someone beat me up at the gym. Then someone messed up the scale and my other friends point to Mr. Fitness and say, "See, he's not really your friend. We are. You're not good enough, but eat this and you'll feel better." Then they stuff me with stuff that taste pretty good, but seems to posion me. Why would real friends posion me? It makes no sense.
I just want a real friend. No, I need a real best friend.
After all being paranoid about who your “real” friends are is just the Fools Fitness way!- Alan