Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Why can’t they just sit on park benches?

I’m not sure if those so called “Zen Masters” impress me. They are always up on some tall mountain or off in the vast wasteland desert… If Zen is about being at peace and shedding all your desires, as “want” is the vessel to suffering all that stuff, why can they be content just sitting on a park bench someplace? Aren’t they wasting lots of energy and time to get to tops of mountains when they should really learn contentment? Also, if they desire t shed their wants and desires isn’t that really a desire too? They are stuck in some eternal conundrum like one of those white faced mimes in invisible boxes. Then they have to punish themselves for the whole thing by sitting in those pretzel positions and try to convince themselves they are a flower. Again, if they are so free from want and desire why can’t they just lay down or even just lean on a wall.
GUESS WHAT I DID!!! Today I tried to do my Spiderman impression, flying upside down and sideways through the air with arms and legs flailing in every direction. In my superhero training I need to learn how to land. I had to check for blood twice. Have you ever seen one of those week old bruised apples? That’s my whole body. Even my eyelashes hurt. I got hit in the head, scratched my knee, and my hands and forearms are red in pain… I short, I loved it. As I write this I’ve pretty much lost all sensation in my body. I’ve achieved that Zen state of an outer body experience.
Was I training to be a ninja? No, I played some serious volleyball. Not the kid family get together kind, but the set to the center and jumping and spiking and blocking… sliding on the floor, the ignoring minor flesh wounds kind! In short, I loved it. I may need to remind myself of this fact tomorrow when I can’t get out of bed… hey, I am an all or nothing kind of guy not doing anything lightly. I am not an organ donor because I seriously plan to use up every bit of my body I can before I die. Embrace the chaos! Thrash the life out of life! Don’t mind me I’m still on the euphoric high from all the endorphins as my body is freaking out shaking madly. I’ll just say I played with passion.
I also lost *every* single game. G. K. Chesterton mentioned once something along the lines that it’s great to see someone who loves something enough to do it badly. Intensity is one of my trademarks… so is, loosing apparently… But, “ I’ll stop when I can’t lift my arms or pass out thanks.”
I was thinking about being in that “Zen” zone in workouts. People talk about machines that do whole body workouts, circuit training, options for aerobics classes in the newest fad… be it playing with big bouncy balls rolling around on the floor with them or pretending to be a ninja in kick boxing but what is the best workout? I think it just might be the one that you do and keep doing. It’s got to be the workout you enjoy and don’t see it as torment because you are less likely to do it again right? If you like to walk then walk, or bike, or what ever it is. Don’t freak out that someone someplace is more of a “fat burning machine” getting a “whole body workout” that is better than yours… because I figure the one you enjoy you will stick with and you maybe even might put in more than the 20 minutes a day three times a week mantra.
I think people need to come to terms with the fact they may never be a size 4 or a superhero. Others are not your measuring stick! You are improving you not making you someone else entirely. I may not be the next superhero fighting 5 criminals at once then leaping from rooftop to rooftop… but maybe someday I’m going to block a spike in volleyball. Well, I need to go pass out now.
At Foolsfitness we always check for minor flesh wounds and/or bleeding after our workouts.- Alan


  1. lol Maybe you should forego the volleyball and try push-ups instead! I haven't played volleyball since I was a kid. I was pretty good at it back then, but that was with the benefit of youth!

  2. From the title of yur post, I thought this was going to be a rant about pigeons. :D

    LOL Loved your spidey description. Oooo! You found a PA [physical activity] love? That's fantastic.

    Sometimes I wish I could get thinner. But, this is so much better. I keep counting my blessings. That's where it's all at. You're right. :)

  3. One of the most fun times I've had is when I played field hockey for two years... I think we may have won ONE game the entire time. But it was a blast. I loved it.

  4. I love how you said "Others are not your measuring stick." A great thing to remember for all of us.

  5. HI Alan, I found you through Mizfit! I cannot believe you played volleyball!! I love volleyball but havent played since I was in high school! Now, I have an incredible urge for beach volleyball...it is too cold to be on the beach :(

    Nice to meet you!

    keep it real, jen

  6. "others are not your measuring stick" ... amen.

    Alan, your sign-offs are the best. they always make me giggle.

  7. Dear FoolsFitness,
    Here at Twinkely Dot's fashion we aim to please. Please stick with the hats. May I suggest that you add to your collection with a jeweled cowboy hat ala Brett Michael's look on "Rock of Love". And yes. Please ad that blonde wig under the hat.

    It just so happens I have a pair of authentic Hammer pants via his "Hammer Time" tour of 1992. I believe these were used in the "Can't touch this" dance. (Boys to Men were the opening act. Bel Biv Devoe dropped out after the incident with Colour me Bad at the Indio Date Festival.)

    Remember: our ability to accessorize is what separates us from the primates.

    If you're heading to the "Furry" convention let me know in advance. I'll make sure that this years costume is dry clean-able rather than just spot cleaning.

  8. oh alan i have missed reading your blog!

    another point well and truely made.
    love these comments too.


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