Monday, November 30, 2009

Please Stand by…

I haven’t posted in a bit due to going away for the holiday (Thanksgiving) and now I’m trying to catch up on just basic chores and work… also trying to just catch my wind here. So the normal style postings should be back in the works soon.
Yes, I ate way too much… now 312.5 for like a 9 pound gain over the last two weekends… I’ve hovered in these 12 pounds (up and down) since about the end of September. I must have lost and gained these last few pounds about 7 times!!! I even started smoking again… Tomorrow starts December… I hate to say beginning tomorrow, so I will say beginning now I’m going to try to regain some focus.
I’ve been trying to capture that essence that makes this not just a numbers game but a total life redesign. Lately my thoughts have been dwelling on the idea that it isn’t an “all or nothing” thing… but just small refinements that make me just a little more (or less depending on your point of view) I’m not sure what the word I wan is… maybe more refined, defined, closer to my essence. While the goal is to shed all the excess baggage (weight and all the other life un-essentials) it’s so easy to fall back into old ways or get distracted and off path.
I wonder if it’s for everyone who drops a “lot” of weight that it isn’t about focus on the pounds at all really, as it seems to be a set up for failure to just go through the motions… but there is a core need to dig into the depths and look into the abyss. AT least for me it seems like one of the most difficult things I have ever attempted. I know I am exhausted. I could make excuses about how it’s a bad time of year with loosing my family, or the added pressures of my work, or loss of friends passing away recently… but I guess the core of it is today the stuffing won and also the stuffing is being beaten out of me, and I‘m trying to beat the stuffing out of myself (and frankly I‘m not sure if that is the good or bad stuffing) …… Maybe tomorrow will be different.

So "please stand by" as Foolsfitness is having some technical difficulties...
Insert cute and witty foolsfitness signoff here… Alan


  1. For me, it was all about the pounds initially. I took it as a personal challenge, and each week I wanted to post "Biggest Loser" style numbers. As I got closer and closer to my goal, I started looking at it differently. I made the journey more about the lifestyle and less about the numbers.

    Here's hoping you get that mojo stoked back up. There's still a lot of work to do...

  2. For me Alan,
    The abyss stared back.
    that will scare the sh*t out of you.
    I had already dug up my crap, I knew why I ate, what made me tick, and why I was covering my pain with food instead of facing it.
    I am writing a post about How I am doing it tonight. I think It should be enlightening to people who read my blog and think I am gliding smoothly and not paddling like a mofo.
    At a deliberate life, We are swimming upstream.....with flippers.

  3. That's how I went about it, Alan. Bettering one habit at a time. That's what I put my focus on, becoming better. Was it easy? No. Trying to change our lifestyle is not easy. But it can be done. I, too, figured half-assed was better than no effort at all. And it is. Half-assedness made me feel better. Then I went at it whole-assedness after that. Perfect? No. I'm against that. Better fo' sho'. Also, I never used the scale this last time. Still don't. It screws with my mentality and quantified whether something was worth the effort or not.

    Without the scale, I don't do that. It's day-in, day-out better habits, everyday that gets my focus. It worked. :) We have to figure out what works for ourselves and then do that.

    Proof that it works - it took me 2 years to shed the poundage, but shed it I did. It's coming up on 2 years that I've kept it off.

  4. Alan we all go through tough times from time to time and it makes us stronger in the long run, but in the short run its tough to see past it. I lost two grandparents this summer, I know how hard it can get. Stay positive the best you can. Chin up!

  5. Oh Alan... hugs coming your way! I just posted a Big Celebration, cuz i just finally reached 100 pounds weight loss. But what I chose not to focus on, today, was the fact that IT TOOK ME 5 YEARS TO GET THIS FAR. That stirs up all sorts of conflicting feelings within me!

    I think you are spot on the money in thinking we need to dig into the WHYS. You can lose weight without it, but too often it will only be temporary. Sooner or later we need to settle issues and find healthier ways to cope, without using food.

    I had to focus on just one or two key changes at a time, too. And sometimes had to go back and repeat the same lessons until they finally took.

    Please read the very last paragraph in my post today, right above the snail pic. You'll make it, Alan. If you keep going, you will make it.

    God will never give up on you... I won't give up on you, and I hope YOU won't give up on you.

    Get a good nights rest... I'll bet tomorrow you will feel better.

  6. In losing my 150 pounds I did have to look into the abyss and see what was brewing. The pounds were very important in the beginning, but as the scale started to move, I knew that I had to figure out what had gotten me to 305 in the beginning. It was not easy, but so worth it.

    Stay strong and take care,

  7. i am so here for you dude. <3
    ready for regularly scheduled programming. missed yer!

    tomorrow will be different.

  8. Hi Alan. Sounds like you have stuffing issues!

    I think, yes, there is a need to refocus. As I wrote in my latest post when you have your eating under control then it leaves a lot more space in your life to find out how and why you got overweight in the first place. When you are controlling your food intake it gives you a chance to see the ways in which you have been using food ie for reasons other than nutrition. These issues become exposed when you can't just reach for the next piece of food.

    But it's a lot easier to write this stuff than to do it!

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  9. It's all good man.. You can bounce back and get back on track.

  10. It's not uncommon to lose focus this time of year. I think the trick is to remember that life must go on even in the midst of holidays and celebrating. For me the weight loss issue has been about one change at a time, over time, and for a long time (like forever). I haven't even come close to my goal and it's been two years. I have lost and gained the last 17 lbs over and over again--just recently gaining it again. So, I feel like I have down pat what I need to do to weigh 326 lbs. Now I want to learn what I need to do to weigh 299 lbs, then 260 lbs, then 230 lbs, and then (finally) 190 lbs. It is a process. Rome wasn't built in a day. For me (and I think you are similar) it is about staring into the abyss. It is about changing the core of who we are into someone that cares enough about themselves (as a temple, as a creation of the Creator) that we are living, breathing examples of health and good stewardship. Isn't that it? The bonus is we get to look better and feel better.

    Sorry to hear about the smoking. Been there, done that. Trading one addiction for another is never a good thing--unless maybe, you could get addicted to exercise. I would like to have that problem.

    Blessings Alan!


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