Sunday, February 21, 2010

Betrayed! The Temptress and Mr. F

Where have you been? Why is your hair wet? What is that smell on you? Never mind me.

Well What about the what about the late night trip??? questions like Didn’t I see you in the restaurant with HIM again need to be asked too?! It wasn’t going so well. Why can’t things work? Why can they just function?! Do you really want to be with “Him”? I thought she was the one… yet she crushes me. How can you keep doing this to me? I trusted you! Time and time again you lie to me and I fall for it.

Now I sit in front of my computer at the ungodly hour of the morning my mind racing. Who is Mr. F? Like I didn’t notice you had made dinner for 2 again!!! I don’t know where to start but I’ve been betrayed. The world is spinning so fast. My head is spinning as I ask why, my heart is breaking.

I went to the gym today and came home smelling of chlorine because I’ve been in the pool for a fair workout. My goal was for an hour of just to keep moving. I got in maybe 40 minutes. I look in my trash can as I bag it up to take it out and the evidence was there… Someone has been eating all my food while I‘ve been trying to improve myself some other guy has been in *MY* house!!! I checked the scale. I didn’t want to, I guess I’ve been in denial of the illicit relationship but it’s there. About a 12 pound gain since Jan 1st.

So Who is Mr. F? My Mister Future still seems to be fighting and then giving into the temptress who flirts him into her web with second helpings, too much Chinese food, and sloth type ways! Mr. Fools Fitness Future is in a steel cage death match with double S the Soul Stealer who’s determined to lure me into a slow quiet death by OD on MSG!

That’s where you come in my blogging friends. We are fooled by thinking it’s a tug a war with our past self and our old ways. But it’s a tug of war with our possible future self. Help me pull and I’ll try to help you pull too. We can perhaps learn from our past… but we can not be consumed by it, because it is done and can not be changed. Our time machine is set to the future of our dreams yet is constantly trying to be reset by who we are now by whim and ease. Two Mr. Futures stand in front of me pulling hard against each other.

There is an old Benedictine prayer that loosely translates to, “The drink you offer is evil. Drink that poison yourself.” Yet that devil offers such a tempting sweet elixir of death. Let us remind one another time and time again that the drink of now is so pale in comparison to the drink of the future if we can deal with parched throats in the desert travel to get to that oasis of Eden.

It comes back to the eternal question… well I sell out searching for my Mr. Future for that extra Chinese Food and the pseudo peace illusion. There is a safety in slavery. Is the possibility of freedom worth the fight?

Let us drink to our health and not in the sweet poison to our demise no matter how sweet it appears for it is only the most powerful of illusions! Please keep reminding me my friends. As for me when I can I shall try to keep reminding you of this illusion of this temptress (or tempter?) as well.

At Fools Fitness the Civil war rages on. Yet I can’t seem to pick a side and stay on it. -Alan


  1. hey alan...why not try cooking healthier versions of your fav. chinese food at home.
    use brown rice...less oil etc.
    You can do this. It's one small step at a time.

  2. What Chris wrote reminded me of something I read recently. When needing to make lots of changes, they suggested to do it in degrees.. to pick one at a time, and work on it. This works well for some people (I tend to be like that) instead of being overwhelmed with too many changes at once.

    I don't know if that would work for you, but you might pick one main thing and put your focus there... such as the one thing that is your biggest hindrance right now, and work on that.

    Anyway, that was great getting to the pool... 40 minutes of continual movement in the pool is an excellent workout!

  3. I agree. Pick one battle at a time. Pick the one you feel most comfortable with changing / conquering. Don't putt things off limits. That helped me a lot in the beginning, to know that I would allow anything with moderation.

    That's the key. Say, OK, this is my Chinese night. Instead of going to a buffet. Order one dish. It will help. You get a fix and it's better than you used to do.

    Strive to do better, not be perfect. In time, as you become more comfortable, you'll move onto more changes.

    The key is to work with yourself and your own psyche. If we make something off limits, we will obsess over it. But, if you know that you will allow Chinese once or twice a month, that devil may just quit whispering in your ear. You may be surprised in the future when you quit eating it altogether, because you choose to.

  4. Hi Alan. I completely understand your battle. It is my battle too. I wish I knew the answer. Sometimes part of us just wants the crap food right now.

    It's like Sean says, you have to make it your highest priority. If it isn't then it won't happen.

    Bearfriend xx


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