Where have you been? Why is your hair wet? What is that smell on you? Never mind me.
Well What about the what about the late night trip??? questions like Didn’t I see you in the restaurant with HIM again need to be asked too?! It wasn’t going so well. Why can’t things work? Why can they just function?! Do you really want to be with “Him”? I thought she was the one… yet she crushes me. How can you keep doing this to me? I trusted you! Time and time again you lie to me and I fall for it.
Now I sit in front of my computer at the ungodly hour of the morning my mind racing. Who is Mr. F? Like I didn’t notice you had made dinner for 2 again!!! I don’t know where to start but I’ve been betrayed. The world is spinning so fast. My head is spinning as I ask why, my heart is breaking.
I went to the gym today and came home smelling of chlorine because I’ve been in the pool for a fair workout. My goal was for an hour of just to keep moving. I got in maybe 40 minutes. I look in my trash can as I bag it up to take it out and the evidence was there… Someone has been eating all my food while I‘ve been trying to improve myself some other guy has been in *MY* house!!! I checked the scale. I didn’t want to, I guess I’ve been in denial of the illicit relationship but it’s there. About a 12 pound gain since Jan 1st.
So Who is Mr. F? My Mister Future still seems to be fighting and then giving into the temptress who flirts him into her web with second helpings, too much Chinese food, and sloth type ways! Mr. Fools Fitness Future is in a steel cage death match with double S the Soul Stealer who’s determined to lure me into a slow quiet death by OD on MSG!
That’s where you come in my blogging friends. We are fooled by thinking it’s a tug a war with our past self and our old ways. But it’s a tug of war with our possible future self. Help me pull and I’ll try to help you pull too. We can perhaps learn from our past… but we can not be consumed by it, because it is done and can not be changed. Our time machine is set to the future of our dreams yet is constantly trying to be reset by who we are now by whim and ease. Two Mr. Futures stand in front of me pulling hard against each other.
There is an old Benedictine prayer that loosely translates to, “The drink you offer is evil. Drink that poison yourself.” Yet that devil offers such a tempting sweet elixir of death. Let us remind one another time and time again that the drink of now is so pale in comparison to the drink of the future if we can deal with parched throats in the desert travel to get to that oasis of Eden.
It comes back to the eternal question… well I sell out searching for my Mr. Future for that extra Chinese Food and the pseudo peace illusion. There is a safety in slavery. Is the possibility of freedom worth the fight?
Let us drink to our health and not in the sweet poison to our demise no matter how sweet it appears for it is only the most powerful of illusions! Please keep reminding me my friends. As for me when I can I shall try to keep reminding you of this illusion of this temptress (or tempter?) as well.
At Fools Fitness the Civil war rages on. Yet I can’t seem to pick a side and stay on it. -Alan