If there were such a thing as Mental Olympics I would get a gold metal in “Pondering and Planning”. Following through with them on the other hand, I wouldn’t make it on the team. I have spent so much time wondering why I would logically choose to overeat. Why on Earth would I engage in an endeavor that would take me to an early demise via Diabetes or Heart Attack? Why on Earth would I do something to my body that leaves it in such shambles that I could not fully function in life to run and jump and play and live… I still struggle with the answer.
Is it an honest addiction to food or it’s psychological comforts of pseudo safety? Is it playing it safe to live just outside normal life enough to not have to fully try and ultimately have a chance to fail? Yet in the logic it will if course unchecked lead to failure never the less. Perhaps in the modern venacular… WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?!
The current picture was in front of a KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken). I couldn’t help but take the shot next to it!!! Their new sandwich called the Double Down has an advertising campaign around being so meaty that there is no room for the bun. (32 grams of fat and 540 calories! According to the LA Times) There will be no room for my buns in their booths (or my bicycle) if I ate those unchecked!!!
So the positives: current bicycle ride on Sunday, over 13 miles. Didn’t go in to KFC.
The negatives: Got home and still ate too much in other stuff… then visited KFC today, didn’t get the Double Down but more calories in other tasty goodies.
So in the end likely negated any caloric deficit in exercise with extra food, plus. The answer is beyond logic and reason. I’ve got so much exercise down I’m even over exercising but I haven’t lassoed and hog tied the terrible hunger monster. Why? WHY? It makes no sense. It’s beyond any rational sense to do so. Somehow I need to get beyond sense to understand the pull, drop the attachment to the food insanity or die in madness.
At least the fight goes on. I obviously haven’t given up. I fought head winds of 10-15 miles an hour riding my bicycle out Sunday. So strong in fact that when I stopped for a break the wind lifted my bicycle off the kick stand. My legs burned with lactic acid and tailbone with agony… then of course it being Sunday I went to evening Mass at church and God had a bit of a chuckle… you see in the Roman Catholic Church the Mass is filled with getting up, sitting down and kneeling. Or in my case wobbling, straining, and silently groaning in pain.
So why do you guys and gals over eat? I can’t make sense out of it obviously. Maybe it’s not meant to make logical sense about in the end and just needs some flat out choice that I need to get lip piercings for hoops and padlock my mouth shut, then a cattle prod to zap myself when I get within one foot of the kitchen area. How to get past this hurtle confounds me. I wonder if it’s some perceived path of least resistance and result of some basic pain avoidance and pleasure seeking? See my gold metal training in thought coming forth again?! Maybe if I can really focus on the endgame that it really is a choice between living more fully longer or living quickly and shortly.
At Foolsfitness our heads hurt. So do our tails.- Alan
It's probably for all those reasons and more. We didn't get where we are by thinking the right way about food. I will share with you what I found out about myself imparticularly. I finally figured out if I deprive myself, tell myself "no", and don't take a day to splurge...then I can't stick with it. If an occasion arises when I really want something I probably shouldn't have, I don't flee...I have some, then I stop. If soon after I'm faced w/ the same situation, I simply tell myself "later" rather than "you just ate junk the other day so you CANNOT have anymore.", just simply...later. Since I took the pressure off myself and have rid myself of the word "no", psychologically it's been easier to get a handle on eating right...it was sort of a control thing...silly, yes...I know. lol Also, think about this, you are doing a lot of exercise now...naturally you're going to be even hungrier. You've just got to keep healthy stuff around so you can't feel bad after eating more than usual. I still think the exercise thing is a HUGE accomplishment and I admit I'm a bit envious that you've nailed it. I can get the food thing down good, but exercise is my kryptonite. You're doing great...Good luck w/ the food thing...I know it's hard. :)
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, does it make me a geek to know where you got the name "Boba" before I even read more into your other posts? lol
Hey alan, It deosn't matter why.
ReplyDeleteIf you set a calorie cap, and stop eating you will figure out why. Because all the crap your cramming down with the food will come up and out.
When You really want to binge, it's a good time to sit down and ask yourself why.
Is it genuine hunger (probably not)...you have fat stores for a reason. When your body deosn't get sufficient nutriton from food it will tap into your fat stores.
You will discover what you are eating to cover if you get past that urge and wait.
It's hard though.
You can do it.
Is it boredom, loneliness, sadness or anger.
You won't know until you put down the food and listen.
Hugs to you.
Hey, Alan. It's odd that we haven't crossed paths until now--seeing that we're on the same "Pondering and Planning" Olympic team.
ReplyDeleteI am seriously impressed by the bike riding. That is so great! Sounds like another team could be in your future. :)
Good job.
Deb
What Chris said...:-)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, for years I tried to figure it out AFTER an eating session. But it was next to impossible usually, cuz THEN added to the mix was the frustration, discouragement, anger, hopeless feelings, that came from the eating! Like muddying the water. So of course it was hard to see what had originally been the reason.
I had to learn to FACE my stuff, not stuff my face. And yeah, it's dang hard. But there is no simple easy way. If there was, everyone would be svelte and happy, and we wouldn't be reading each others blogs!
The fact that you refuse to give up means that you are determined to get there. You'll figure it out. Why you want to feel better, using food as the drug to do so, and about what.
Think of it this way: ever try to hold a coherent conversation with someone who is drunk?? Or stoned?? No... you have to get them sober, THEN talk to them. Same with the food. I just heard a podcast today that talked about how food (especially sugar) alters brain chemistry and mood, and our thinking. So, Chris is right on the mark when she said stuff would bubble up to the surface without the food there so muffle it.
You are soo close... just keep going. May God bless you with eyes to see and ears to hear.
Loretta
=^..^=
My friend,
ReplyDeleteFood addiction is a very powerful thing, it really is---and these mental gymnastics---they are imperative to our success.
For me---it was a fight from day 1---knowing that if I gave in, this time would be like every other time. I learned that I was my own worst enemy. I couldn't explain my desires to devour two double cheeseburgers, a filet o fish, and a giant order of fries---oh---and a real coke...at 11pm... But---I called it like it was---a threat to my life---I was hell bent on killing myself with food---I didn't have to fully understand why to admit it was happening---I just had to shut it down---and make a decision that this was TOO IMPORTANT. It is a completely different mindset---one based in self-honesty---and not believing the lies we tell ourselves---the things we say to make ourselves feel better about bad decisions---I call myself out all the time...
You can do this, I know you can--- You are, and you've come so far...Don't ever give up. I've been where you are mentally and physically---You can overcome---and breakthrough this stuff!!!! I know you can Alan.
Food taste good, it's comforting, it's pleasure, it makes us feel good for the moment. No matter how crazy or out of order our lives can be---the food is a temporary excape where all is wonderful...It's easy to abuse Alan---it's accepted, it's food... Learning how to comfort ourselves by empowering ourselves to overcome this addiction and treat food responsibly---and normally---still enjoying life and food, without the out of control binges (that do more short term mental damage than physical--and more long term physical damage)---it's a goal that most of us have on this journey---and it is attainable.
Alan---You have the power---in your faith and in yourself---you're an inspiration and a weight loss super hero.
My best always
Sean
Hey, don't listen to those nutcakes above, who think you can live side by side with hunger, the most horrible beast known to man. Surrender, dude, eat whatever you crave. Life's short. Food tastes good. Food feels good. The more the better.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Your pal Satan