Laughing with 14 Pounds of Kitty Litter

Picture this. Sweet victories!!! It’s pouring rain, as a couple of teenagers ride by my bicycle and do the Simpson version of “Haw-ha!” They had no idea for they laughed in ignorance while I was laughing in sheer bliss riding my bicycle

What is so funny about riding your bicycle in the pouring rain? 14 pounds of kitty litter, or rather 2 seven pound bags of kitty litter in my rear panniers of my bicycle, along with speed stick, 10 razors, wallet and cell phone… oh and a paid bill. (hey that envelope counts for an ounce or so!!!) all in plastic bags to stay nice and dry. Some folks may call it crazy, other’s may call it doing errands, or training… maybe it’s all three?

I was in a cotton shirt and khaki shorts, likely a few pounds heavier too being soaked. What is so funny here?! I laughed in joy for one thing… about a year ago I tried to tackle a hill I call the Friendly’s hill due to that restaurant at the top and last year I had to stop half way. Moreover last year I recall a kid on a BMX bicycle whipping by me and a mother with a stroller almost keeping pace ahead.

This day was different. I laughed. A deep laugh as weighed down by rain and kitty litter I climbed that hill with breath to spare! No stops.

I also laughed today as I stepped on the scales at work…. 316. That’s about 1 ¾ less than last check. I laughed again as I quick snapped this picture above with my phone… My cat has other plans for the proper use of my gym bag.

It’s pretty funny right now at Foolsfitness- Alan

The Ninja in the Candy Aisle

A dark silence fell around me as I stood in that aisle of brightly colored bags that contained all sorts of shapes of sweet candy goodness. I remember being there for a very long time in some odd trance state. As an old west gunslinger I stared down a pound bag of M+Ms. I justified to myself that they were a good price, the best deal for the money. I told myself I could just eat a few and tuck the bag away for later in my house.

At that moment a petite woman with a little girl came into my peripheral vision. The little girl picked up a big candy bar and asked her mother the question… The woman shook her head no and told the little one to put it back, then shuffled the child away from this dangerous scene of a very large man standing, staring into the oblivion of chocolate. The woman obviously sensed in some natural maternal protection instinct to whisk her child away from this vampire of chocolate prepared to pounce. The Late Croc Hunter guy would be saying, “Danger, danger, danger” right about now.

I had heard that woman’s “no” in the back of my head before. A small voice of my own in me echoed it. Then the louder voice claimed I would not be deprived!!! Wait, am I hearing voices… (well, that’s for another blog post) but I took a step back. I picked up the half pound one instead all proud of myself, but yet again I didn’t even need to look at the calories on the back to know what half of a ton of calories is.

Then a box boy of the supermarket approached very slowly. He had seen this look from this size of person in this aisle before. He was not going to interpose himself between me and the candy for his own safety. Making no sudden moves to startle me he wisely eased himself behind me and passed without a sound.

I set the second biggest bag of M+Ms back too. Then I decided I would get two king sized candy bars. Sure it was an insane choice, yet somehow justified. As I approached the check out I just felt Mr. Foolsfitness giving me that gentle tap on the shoulder. “Mindful, aware, choices.”

I set back that king sized four pack of peanut butter cups for two normal packs… one I would give to a friend. And that massive family sized bag of M+M’s by the check out had reduced itself to a tear and share one, a sort of one up from a normal candy bar.

I enjoyed my single pack of 2 normal sized peanut butter cups before I got home. But when I got back I saw that bag of M+M’s once again. First it went in the fridge. I was confused. It didn’t instantly go in my mouth! Then I laughed and took it out and put it up on my bookcase shelf as a trophy. Today I won. Sometime it may get eaten but not today.

At Foolsfitness Chocolate’s kung-fu is weak, and no match for our Bike-fu.- Alan

Learning to Fly

Many guys must have been called crazy as they tried to strap canvas to wood planks in a quest to fulfill their vision of flight. Many also failed. Even one of the famous Wright brothers in the end lost his life in one of his own planes.

I recently saw the new “Alice in Wonderland” movie and one of the things hit me. Both her father and the Mad Hatter both pointed out that essentially crazy people are the only ones who really get any big things done. Maybe a “sane” person would have given up on the whole light bulb idea after maybe a hundred tries, never mind over a thousand.

Vision. Obsession? Insanity? I love G. K. Chesterton’s quote, “Angel’s can fly because they take themselves lightly.” There does seem something poetic, even a romantic lure about what seems to be insanity. That drive is important, crucial.

I don’t know what has gotten into me about bicycles but if you ever get to see the movie, “The World’s Fastest Indian” maybe you can understand that odd drive a bit more. It’s doesn’t even matter how fast I ride my bicycle… but for some reason I’ve just got to ride it with passion.

So now I have this nearly functional 10 speed road bike aka, “SHADE” originally built in October of 1983. I have $28.50 from doing a yard sale to try to raise the bicycle repair fee fund. But the question is when ever I can get it or the Green lady fixed so I can ride a road bike what will I actually do?

How do I teach it… and myself to learn how to fly? First of all two things primarily make you go faster on a road bike. One, a lighter road bike (Well it’s about as light as a small tank but it is what I got and what I can afford, but I did strip off all the reflectors and kickstand to do my part) Then there is the lighter me… (still working on that but I can proudly say lighter than last year!) And of course, light in the head, check!

Then there is the idea of more power… Back to the Wright brothers. When they wanted a powerful yet light engine for their plane and they couldn’t find anyone who could make one… so you know what they did? Yup, these crazy bicycle guys made an engine for themselves, in fact one that had more horse power than they estimated while building it. Well, last big ride for me was 23 miles on rail trails on dirt and small gravel so I’m building my engine!

There is a third thing that has to do with aerodynamics but I find that a just a real drag to talk about.

Anyways these guys also needed a place to do their tests with the gliders, kites, and planes. They found a great beach area with good winds. The poet in me kept asking myself, “Where do I learn how to fly on a bicycle?” then it hit me. There is a perfect strip of level road in a line that goes parallel to the local airport complete with wide breakdown lanes to ride in. I will be peddling faster learning to fly on my road bicycle as those planes leave the ground right close by! How’s that for some visual motivation?!

At Foolsfitness we are requesting permission for take-off…Alan

tHe SeCrEt CaVe

Is it a Hobbit Hole or a Troll Cave?! Yesterday I did 23 miles on My “Boba” bicycle on rail trails in Derry, NH. This picture is of a tunnel that goes under the main road above it. I’m proud of the ride, but I did need several rest breaks. My training for road racing continues the best that I can… until I actually have a functional 10 speed road bike.

Did you ever feel that as hard as you try you just can’t seem to get it right? This last week I ate way too much and the menu was not healthy. Who can I blame? Why do I do it? This is so simple and yet so complex. I even have a motto pledge for Foolsfitness you can read on the right column that breaks it all down. In even a more simple form… eat sanely and move. Why is that so difficult? I seem to make things way more complex than they need to be and I don’t know why.

It’s so easy to give in to the compromises. One justification here and then another. Imagine just a 20 ounce cola a day, each day for a year… Such a little thing? The caloric equivalent of 26 pounds! Sure I’ll take that second helping, yeah ok, just a little more of that there… Just another donut, all right- one more slice of pizza.

Last year I got a single gear bike I named Blue. I found her super reliable but needed more gears for hills. So this spring I got My Raleigh 7-speed Venture, “Boba”, suitable for all of my basic riding. (so first quick and easy mistake??? Should have saved for this one first? Error: Looked for the quick fix first that didn‘t really address my real needs, ended up spending more in the end…. Sounds like a few candy bars I‘ve eaten?)

I have a new goal recently to start informally racing road bikes, which in itself I think is a grand idea…All I need is a road bike. Simple!!! Yet I got an old 10 speed that I hoped to fix up but it’s going to be a tough (if not frankly impossible) project. So I get it in my head for *ANOTHER* cheap 10 speed at another yard sale, yet I cut corners again. AGAIN with the quick and easy fixes… I made the exact same mistake twice with compromises, cutting corners, and going for short cuts.

My new road bike I’ve named “Shade” needs I think a bit less work than the other, “Green Lady”, to have the bike shop guys true the rear wheel, adjust the brakes, and tighten a brake grip on Shade I‘m not sure yet. I just sold ole Blue for $35 which I intended toward tune up fees for Shade…but needed to divert those funds to help out a friend.

I wonder if I’m still falling for the general trap… the quick and “easy“, cheap, and cutting corners thinking. In the fitness journey it is simple, but gimmicks and quick fixes aren’t the path. I think I still need to work on investing in the future properly. It seems like these two bicycle mistakes are just extensions of my old philosophy thinking toward food too. Oh, look! I think I’ll get a candy bar. Did I pay attention to how much food I just ate in that last meal, and when I ate last? Just what exactly was my intention in my actions and how on Earth did *that* just work toward it?!

This is simple. Eat sanely and move. Yet it falls apart with shortcut or compromise thinking. It doesn’t work with impulse. It isn’t about a trick. There are no tricks. It works when you stay in the simple direction of where you want to be. The solution almost sounds too simple, it’s not adventurous or sexy at all. Even seems a bit dull doesn’t it?

Maybe we even make it way more complex than it needs to be at times too? Fine… Eat sanely and move, and also have a nice PEZ dispenser with you at all times loaded with one roll of PEZ candy per day. (a roll of PEZ isn’t even 50 calories) plus PEZ containers are cool.

Maybe “The Secret” is that the next quick fix, compromise, exception, excuse, or broken 10-speed… all get nowhere fast.

At Foolsfitness we always fall for the quarter behind the ear trick!- Alan

Volleyball Finals the Winner is

This last Tuesday was the end of my V-ball league for the season and I wasn’t going out quietly! My team came out strong. We played intensely winning the first four out of five games. I had thought we were unstoppable. My serve was strong and I when I played center I had made some incredible saves. Over this season I had gotten much more fit.

Then it happened. We started loosing! The games were tight but we lost the next four games in a row!!! My team had played so hard that we were loosing steam fast… then loosing team cohesion, not setting the ball up for spikes properly and not backing each other up right. The score had slipped to a 5-5 tie of games won and lost.

I looked at the time and we had two more games before the night was out. We gathered as a team and reminded each other that we were in it together. I even gave a couple of tips to a fellow player to get her serves to hum with more power. The next game the other team got out to a quick lead and two of our normally great servers had bad shots. As I got to serve someone said, “It’s up to you now.” No pressure huh?! When I’m “on” I can place the ball right in the center or corners. 1-2-3 I was able to start building our points up… then bringing up our score to even and another to get us ahead. I had burned the candle at both ends all night and after that serve run I was literally like I had jumped into the water, but with sweat. Yet it was enough even as I lost the next serve, my team had rallied and the others shook off that demoralized feeling and gained a second wind (or third at that point). We rolled over the other team to bring it up to a six games to five score.

Yet there was one last game. We could go away with a season ending win (7-6) or a tie (6-6). Everyone felt the superhuman energy of this night… Neither team was going to yield. It was a game that had to be won. Something just swept over me. Normally I play for fun, but this game… the end of the season was important. There is no prize or trophy or anything but everyone wanted to go out on top.

I got ripped. I was not going to loose… well, I wouldn’t settle for a six games to six tie. I worked too hard for this. As I stepped up to serve I put the other teams players off balance, on the floor on their knees trying to dig the ball up from shots at their feet. That ball had been infused by my energy, I even joked about unleashing the Dark Side of the Force on that ball. I got us to two points from a win… then…

Before I tell the end of the story I want to make it clear that I played my heart out… BUT so did every other player. While I had some powerful serving runs I did not win (or have loss of) games by myself. Win or loose we had all played at 100 percent. Yet after all this, my first season back in a adult volleyball league since my college days if I had any will in the matter I would win. I earned this, and I wanted it baaaaad.

I know I have you on this precipice, on the edge of your seat and then I tease you with how it ended… At this point I could be cruel and say, well read my next post… after all this one is in fact getting a bit long…

But I won’t do that to you. That last game we fought, and the other team was not about to give away any win. It was to be EARNED from either side. The nights final tally we took 7 games and lost 5. I can’t remember how much I glowed after that, or the last time I had been that sopping wet from sweat. Moreover the next day I was shocked, I wasn’t painfully sore in agony at all, but just stiff sore. There’s some muscle sneaking in this here body!

To top it off I got another award for my blog (this one from Deb Willbefree) Thanks so much. I appreciate people reading my blog and commenting, and I’m thrilled to know that folks enjoy it enough to give me honors. I’m horrible about following the directions to awards but I do like them. Yet even more than awards I love the comments. Sometimes it’s a real tough fight and it’s always great to be reminded that we are in this together… your support, and hopefully in return I offer a bit of encouragement somehow myself to you in writing my adventures to share in the blog. Knowing we have got each other’s back in the fight to health is the best part.

I thought about that old saying, “It not whether you win or loose, it’s how you play the game.” at Foolsfitness it’s how you play the game of course. But do play with passion to win.- Alan

Part III Glorious Victory!

Lost! No, not exactly… but I was in a place I did not know and at one point as you can see it got pretty thick with woods. We had searched the net and found an old converted railroad line that was now a bicycle and walking path going from Windham to Salem NH and this was planned as our alternate ride as the day before had been a wash out. (If you haven't read parts I and II you may wish to scroll down under this post)

According to lore, in the 1870’s the biggest single rail line in America was here. What an incredible view huh?!


There was a point in the ride when neither of us spoke, it was pure and deep wonderful silence without any buzz of today. The only sound was the sound of a gentle wind caressing your face and singing softly in the trees. It was such a peace that washed over my heart. After that it was like you could almost hear the quiet whispers of a time long past, a very distant steam chug of a time when things were at the right speed.

As this journey was about to wind down it was amazing. A year or so ago I had not imagination of this. The physical ride was NOTHING… I could have traveled twice the distance, plus. I guess as fitness goes it really is a mental fight. It was such a triumph… a goal worked hard for and achieved. Maybe even over achieved. I can’t help but think about all the mental buzz around the event and in my head that led up to this. That was the real fight.

I even finished off the ride with some healthy eating choices at a wonderful little place right next to the bike path. I went for a veggie wrap, frozen yogurt, and non-sweetened ice tea. I even passed on the bag of chips that came with it.

I laughed as I drove home very early on that next morning… you see, the radio played a song that said, “The Wheel in the Sky Keeps on Turning!” over and over. I have no clue what the song was about because it was just those few words that echoed wonderfully in my mind. You see, my bicycle somehow had let this 300 pound plus guy fly!

SO WHAT”S NEXT? I’m thinking a year from now I’m considering bicycle racing. I’m starting to try to get a vintage steel frame 10 speed in good working order. I plan to take a picture of it and stick it on my fridge door to remind me where I want to go next and also where I don’t want to go anymore. Oh, I will not have a chance at any tour de’ France style riding… but that isn’t what it’s about. It’s about my own battle. I will be riding against, and also “for” myself. I would likely be in the back of any pack racing (the guy doing more huffing and puffing than the big bad wolf) but the first time I enter a race, I will already have won.

A few days back I did a 20 mile plus ride with my “Boba” bicycle and yesterday a 12.5 mile ride with minimal stops… I’ve also see the scales bow before my efforts to 317.75... The work is paying off. About a month ago I was flirting with 13 more pounds. My weight shifts up and down a lot but I can be certain of at least a 7 pound or so drop in the range.

Maybe this time next year you will see a pic of me on an old vintage racer… riding a touch faster, a wee bit further, and without so many stops, and of course with a little less baggage.

Act on your dreams my friends.- Alan

Part II Rack Em Up

(Scroll down to the previous post if you haven’t read Part I)

It was 4:15 in the morning… wait, let me sound more detective like… it was 0400 hours and the rain came down hard, the kind of rain that washes the scum off the streets. My name is Alan, I’m Fools Fitness… I don’t have a badge. But I’d like a Pony Express Badge… A nice tin badge that gleams in the sun.

I awoke from a light sleep with a crash. Being in a house you are not always in I guess you need to expect sounds you don’t expect. (wait… if you expect the unexpected is it really… oh never mind) Yet I had a gut feeling what that crash was that was confirmed moments later. Two bright flashes through the curtains then more crashing. Lightning my friends, lightning. Maybe at this point I should mention I ride a STEEL frame Raleigh bicycle. I figured the storms would pass as it was still so early in the morning the sun hadn’t arose.

This was my friend Kate’s first bicycle marathon too. In fact she had invested in a bicycle rack that literally cost more than her own bicycle for our trip. We fought the bicycles on that medieval device that had tons of straps and tie downs, added 27 bungee cords, some more straps then looked at each other each searching for confidence in the other’s eyes that we had done this right.

We were off on the road, The weather had let up a lot, and the bicycles were locked on… or so we thought! (insert ominous music here). Then *it* happened. We are driving along this back road and she pulls this Dukes of Hazard maneuver that end up us sliding partially in a ditch. I didn’t see a deer run across us, what had happened? Her bicycle had slipped on the bicycle rack and was in breath of being dragged behind us. She had pulled over in time but the first thing I thought about was being in this dirt low shoulder after a hard rain and the car sinking hopelessly into oblivion like cruel quicksand never to be heard from again!

We shifted the bikes again and tightened straps. I added a few special knots I learned from making rosaries to be even more safely redundant. I saw the car tipping in a bad way toward the ditch… (gee, is there a way you can tip in a ditch a good way?) We got in and she just drove out like nothing.

She’s got one of those really cool GPS gadgets. It says in this neat voice “turn left ahead” and such. I imagine if I had one it would get to the point it would say, “We are hopelessly lost.” and “I told you to turn back there” or just, “I give up… find it yourself!” We found the bicycle meeting place relatively easy thanks to her. Had I done this on my own… well, lets just say I have rather no navigation sense. The only time she asked me which way to turn I sent her in the exact wrong direction.

We arrived just as another storm came too. The downpour pinned us in the car along with a concerto of rolling thunder in the distance. Fear not my fine Fool’s Fitness friends, We rode the next day… which I will share in Part III, but not this day. I would not be deprived of my ride, and “taking the bikes for a ride” did not constitute a technically driving around with them on the back of a car for me! I brought the money I had raised in to the group and my eyes were assaulted by more spandex than a superhero convention. There must have been near a hundred bicyclists there.

Stories were shared about where they were as lightning had struck or how they got a free shower as a car sprayed them with about 50 gallons of water from the small streams on the side of the road. Gee, they seemed rather dry now? Had they changed? Or was this like those fishermen who eventually had a fish on their line the size of Moby Dick?

Well, the good part is I came. I WAS doing this, maybe a day late but I showed up for life in my fitness journey. They had a wonderful BBQ, grilling under cover outside and bring it into the barn to enjoy. This time I did carb load, or any other load in food. I tried Goat Cheese and some kind of fruit jelly on multigrain crackers. That jelly I can’t pronounce, spell, or even remember other than it was good and a bit tart.

I had raised enough money (over goal even) to get some drawing raffle tickets. I actually ended up winning a $25 dollar gift certificate to a book store. A few days later I had got a book on bicycling, one on horses for my boss, and another on graphic novel art book for my work… all on sale and a little under so I could share some of the money with another Foolsfitness Member who drove us down to the place.

Ok we are getting a really long post here so… PART III coming soon with the Actual bicycle ride.


And Remember that at Foolsfitness reading is a workout.- Alan