Saturday, January 1, 2011

The End of the World is Coming, I Got a Planner

When I was in school my friends and I made a pact because we were *real* artists. We’d never be “sell outs” painting sail boats or light houses, and never own a daily planner! The end of the world would be near before we’d start producing general pretty picture flowers junk commercial art!!! We were Artists! (Notice it’s even with a capital “A” too)

I held on to that pledge actually for quite a while. I don’t know when it happened but I think someone gave me one of those Kitten Planners that are so tiny and innocent looking all 3 by 5 and costing like a dollar. I thought it was rebel too, big ruff and tumble me with the little booklet with 2 little kittens on it.

One year I got totally out of hand. I got a planner given to me with post it notes complete with duplicate carbon copy sheets and even a calculator. The corners of the pages had tiny perforations to tear away so you’d instantly flip to the right date. I kept a pen clipped in the planner! The sickness of it. Now addicted to planners last year I actually started buying my own, my mind twisted by imposed indoctrinated thoughts of systematic conformity I even shelled out *15 bucks* for one with tabs! What was I thinking?!

Today I started the year off in a normal Fools Fitness random manner. Some people have resolutions to catch up on bills, loose weight, or stop smoking…I ate more Chinese food than I should, spending money I really don’t have, started smoking my captain black pipe tobacco, and buying another planner. Just to be safe I cancelled my gym membership in December too. (Yes, all this is true) But my new planner was under 4 dollars, so I‘m not a complete sell out am I?

Most people break their New Years resolutions… So I’m playing the odds. I’m also trying to figure out a way that I can buy lottery tickets but somehow bet on that they are actually non-winning tickets. Maybe I could bet the people in line at the connivance store that are buying them that they won‘t win? Think outside the box my friends. Make your resolution to loose weight another day than in a News Years resolution… like me on April Fools Day!

Back to my new planner date book. I actually do find it helpful to keep track of appointments, write down the odd note, and make lists at times. I think it’s important to have a plan and refer to it over and over to see if you are heading in the general right direction. However my great plans for world domination seem to be always encountering unforeseen, ill prepared for, or just plain development in general that I could have easily avoided if I wasn‘t so full of myself laughing manically not paying attention and losing focus.

Isn’t that the way though? It’s so easy to make a plan, “I want to lose weight”. After all I have a planner and I can write it in there. It’s so simple, yet then there are the details and following through, keeping on course, dealing with the random events… Like the end of the world. I’ve penciled it in for a possibility for May 21, 2011 or just a general massive Earthquake and Tsunami that wipes out the eastern USA on December 20, 2011... And am trying to keep a general open calendar for all of 2012.

I don’t think anyone is suppose to know the exact date of the end of the world but I figure someone is bound to hit it eventually. Maybe those Mayans just got tired of making the calendar and stopped writing. I’d go on strike too if someone told me to keep going after I made a calendar that covered a couple of thousand years. Maybe they just ran out of room. After all I only got an 18 month planner at the store.

Just a few parting thoughts about my new “plan ahead” CVS 4 dollar planner. Does anyone find it really helpful to have those sections like the “weights and measures” that gives you the fact that 40 rods equals a Furlong or the CIA‘s website address? (Both are really preprinted in my in my planner)

At Foolsfitness paintings of lighthouses and sailboats will be gladly made in exchange for food, rent, gas, guitar fund, captain black pipe tobacco, or general cat care supply funding.-Alan


  1. lol, Alan sells out to the man...(or at least to Thomas Kincaide.)
    I have a great big calendar for finishing my goals...maybe you could be like a romance writer...get a nom de plume and paint shlock to sell, that way your name is never actually on it.
    Happy new year alan.
    and my bet for the end of the world
    sept. 12th, 2015.
    we shall see.

  2. Hi, Alan. Nice to hear from you.

    Don't know about the end of the world, but I'm thinking that the Rapture will be in the fall on the Jewish holiday, Feast of Trumpet, also called Rosh Hashanah. Which year? shrug. No way of knowing--but soon. :D

    We'll have glorified bodies then, my friend.


  3. Hey Alan... just thinking about you.

    How's about putting an appointment in that Planner to give us a teensy update post, to let us know what's going on in AlanWorld??

    Hope alls well with you,


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